The Freakish Death of Gabe O'Mackey

They'd just cleaned up the wedding party when Samantha went into labor. The guests had all left and Jules was asleep. Up until that point, it had been the most romantic day of Gabe's life. If it weren't for those last few horrific moments, Gabe would have died the happiest he'd been in years.

Samantha had two babies, a boy and girl. The labor was fast, so she had them at home. The whole was over faster than Gabe could load a dishwasher. He wondered if Jules had been born that quickly, but couldn't remember. Samantha had given birth before, so after a few cries of pain, she calmly left the babies in the kitchen and went to the bedroom to plan a new outfit.

Gabe looked at the twins. What was wrong with their faces?!

"What do think of this dress?" Samantha skipped back into the kitchen, watching the skirt swish back and forth. "It's kind of retro, but I think it's really cute."

"You're... you're babies." The twins were on the floor, wrapped in blankets. They weren't crying. Just staring. Samantha was acting like they weren't even there, but all Gabe could do was stare right back at them.

The boy, Ethan, had a face twice as long as Emma's, his twin sister. His mouth looked like it was about to drop off his chin. Emma's cheeks were sunken in so far they were almost touching on the inside. Both of them had brown eyes that bugged out too far and blinked too often. Gabe struggled to understand just what he was looking at. Hadn't he heard of a rumor of a woman, out in some desert town, that had a baby with Death himself? No, that's ridiculous, he told himself. He'd met Samantha's ex-husband. These babies were human.

He took of his glasses and massaged his temples. Everything flooded Gabe's mind at the same time. Alexandra gone one morning, a cryptic note on her pillow: "I'm a pirate now. Arr." Jason's wild plant-wife, Rose. With leaves for hair and near constant thirst for water. And Daisy, Gabe's niece, at least sort of. A giggling human flower Rose claimed she spawned. And now these twins babies, barely human looking. It was all too much to handle.

He looked into Samantha's blue eyes. She was smiling, waiting for a compliment on her dress. He remembered the day they met like it was yesterday. Actually, it was yesterday. She had waddled into his office at the school, her first day teaching second grade. Pregnant, poor, and heartbroken from her recent divorce. She was trying to talk between sobs, something about "Peter's trampy whores" and "poor little Tommy," but Gabe was lost in her blue eyes. Blue like Alexandra's, but darker and sadder. They were living together by the end of the day, married the next.

Gabe wanted to tell her the dress was beautiful, that it brought out the blue in her eyes. But when he opened his mouth to say something,  one of the babies started to cry. And then Gabe was eaten alive by a swarm of flies.

Release Notes

Anybody else read the release notes for The Sims 3 patches? I wrote about these a bit on my creative writing blog. Some of the bug fixes are pretty funny out of context, and could make for some interesting creative writing prompts.

Here are a few of my favorites:

• Pillow Fight wishes will appear much less frequently. 
• "Honey, we need to talk." Mom said somberly. The entire family was in the living room, even Grandpa Bill. This couldn't be good. "Brad," Mom shifted uncomfortably, "we think, we all think, that you are pillow fighting far too frequently. It's become a problem, and we want to help."
• The Heckle interaction is no longer available in Sims swimming in the ocean. 
• "Loose seal!" The bystanders shouted, but Buster gleefully ignored their taunts. "I'm not afraid of her anymore!" He yelled triumphantly. His mother, Lucille, wasn't going to keep him from swimming in the ocean.
• Hot Dog and Pie Eating contests can no longer ironically cause a Sim to starve to death. 
• Fixed an issue where fires created by Unicorns reignite repeatedly after being extinguished.  
• Cats that play in the Hydrocombo Spa will no longer teleport . 
• The Imaginary Friend doll can no longer be buried in Sandboxes to prevent the Sim from losing it forever. 
• "From now on, you must take good care of your toys, because if you don't, we'll find out, Sid!"
• Sims who are on fire will no longer be forced to attend graduation before they can put themselves out. 
• Groundskeeper Willy continued burning while Mr. Van Houten droned on and on about spaghetti dinner. He politely waited his turn, but the rage and the flames consumed him.
• Sims will no longer receive a wish to “Skinny Dip” with Mummies. 
• She leaned in flirtatiously and whispered, "What do you say you slip out of those bandages and go for a swim?"
• Sims can no longer hang out with Celebrity Sims on swing sets before properly impressing them. 
• There are now stricter relationship requirements for Woohooing with Sims in the Sarcophagus. 
• The Jog interaction no longer mocks poor, atrophied, player-controlled Mummies. 
• Glen struggled towards the finish line, his bandages unraveling. He ignored the jeering spectators, his overwhelming fatigue, and the fact that his dead left foot had completely crumbled away at the last mile marker. He was going to finish this race.
• Mummies can no longer learn songs. Their vocal chords have deteriorated leaving them mute. 
• Playable ghosts can no longer get stuck wandering into a gender specific bathroom. 
• Sims can no longer "Try for Baby" with the Grim Reaper. 
• Olive Spector was always a rule-breaker. She didn't care what the programmers in the sky had to say about it. She was bringing Nervous Subject into this world.
• Neighbors will no longer gather to watch a burglar that hasn't yet stolen anything.
• "I don't want any trouble," Mrs. Costas said nervously, standing on her front porch. "I don't want any trouble either," the masked man replied, slightly confused. He wondered why the neighbors had started to gather around.

I'm not dead, just my Sims

I still want to update this blog, I just got super lazy. And will get super lazy in the future. So get used to it.

While laziness is 99% at fault, I'm also having issues with my internet on my home PC. This is the PC where all my Sim games are installed. For a normal person, this would not be a huge obstacle, but I am an expert slacker. I know I said no pictures on these posts, but I really do like pictures. I wanted a picture of my overflowing Riverblossom Hills cemetery in the last post, but without internet on my main computer, I'd have to like, get a USB stick, save the picture there, bring home my work laptop... and I'm exhausted already.

I stopped playing Riverblossom Hills lately, which hasn't motivated me to update this blog. I've been spending a lot of time in The Sims 3, but it's missing the whole neighborhood soap opera drama that I love from Sims 2. So far, I've been playing around with my own created characters in Sims 3, but I know no one cares about them. I do still plan on playing the existing households through an entire lifetime (the Wan-Goddard family will be up first), but it's definitely a different experience than the Sims 2.

I've also been reacquainting myself with Strangetown. It's not as far along as Riverblossom Hills, but I've done a good job of population control so far. I've only added two bin families: the Picasos and the Larsons, and no one has married any NPCs. General Buzz Grunt (that's the dad, right?) married Erin Singles, Lola Singles married Nervous Subject, Ripp Grunt knocked up Jodie Larsen, but she is kidding herself if she thinks he'll ever marry her. Chloe Curious did end up marrying Lazlo, but that's not stopping her from hooking up with just about any guy that whistles at her.

In conclusion, keep reading imaginary readers. I promise to love you enough so that one day, you'll become real. (Assuming I can get my hands on some Imaginary Friend Metamorphium potion, of course.)

I believe in you.